Real Life

When I first started this blog site, I was in a totally different place with myself.  How I went from the top to the bottom like the speed of lighting was questionable yet understandable.  From the moment I felt myself start drifting, I began to wonder, "How did this happen? I was doing so good!." At the time, I didn't get where I had went wrong, until I opened my pretty brown eyes....Life happened! It happens everyday & will never stop until the Big guy upstairs says its time to go, train is leaving CHOO CHOO!!

Though i've fallen too many times to count, this time is a little different than the others.  You see, I have finally realized that I can only be me. The person GOD created me to be.  There is no mold that someone else has created that will ever fit who I am.  In the time that ive taken out, ive found something that was always there but I never truly utilized....Writing! I can sing & dance which makes me forget about the world around me but when I write, I see more & more of who I truly am...Ive created another world that I can just be me in & in time I will morph to the other side with you "Normal" people. Just kidding but you get me :)  So this is my voice outside of my little blue book & now I would love to share a little something I wrote....


"He has been the creator of all my hopes & dreams, yet somehow my flesh fails & my thouoghts intervene.
I ask....Who am I to question, whats wrong or right??? It always ends the same, in a selfless fight.
So I think....Ephiphany after Epiphany & my mind still draws a blank."

Although this is only a little piece, it has a meaning that is honest.


GOD is good today, tomorrow & forever.... :)!

It's been awhile....

It's been almost a month since my last blog. Funny thing is, I sincerely miss the weight that i felt was lifted when i just blogged out everything i was feeling.  Every now & again, we take on more than what our mind & emotions can handle. Things start to get tough & you forget what the purpose of the purpose was.  I'm not perfect & i hope i never portrayed myself to be through my blogging.  I'm just a young lady trying to find her way through this Beautiful yet difficult life. 

 GOD will never not be a part of me but sometimes we all tend to get wrapped up in our own selfishness of life.  That's normal & GOD knows that we are human bc he is the one that made us.  The problems come when you don't realize that & continue to under mind & repetitively test HIS mercy.

I'd like to share that No matter what we've done, HE still loves & No matter where we are, we can still come HOME....

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. (Psalm 61:1-4)

Freestyle on Fear...

Good day :) For the sake of my relationship with GOD & my faithful readers, I have to be honest...This started off as a day of uncertainty but Thanks to a good friend yesterday, I have made peace with the unknown & now I'm ready to blog today.  For some that might sound a little confusing but if you know me, then you know that I tend to be that way from time to time.  Back to uncertainty, I wasn't sure what GOD wanted me to bring today & so I put off blogging for the first part of the morning which left me feeling uncertain if I was going to write at all.  Well as you can tell, HE blessed me with a Topic & so I have decided to freestyle write & share my thoughts....

When I speak of uncertainty, the first word that I think of is Fear.  For some that may not be the case but for whatever reason it is for me.  Fear has been a part of our human life from the day we were born.  It's almost as if we can't live without it sometimes or maybe all the time. Before I committed to making a change in me, I had to let go of the fear of failing.  You see if you are predicting failure before the succeeding process begins, the inevitable is going to happen. You have already spoken it into existence, so in your mind you believe that the outcome is Certain.  Anyhow, I was very Uncertain as to what my future held but I knew that it couldn't be what I had previously endured.  All the pain, drama, addiction, self-affliction, & insanity that I had let destroy my spirit could no longer be a part of what I wanted. For so long those things became comforting to me that I didn't find Certainty in anything else. GOD existed & I knew HE was real but where was HE, was the thought I had.  I shared that to say this....All the certainty I felt was damaging my mind, body & soul.  I knew exactly what I was doing & how all those bad things would make me feel. So in other words, I knew what the outcome was every time, It was Certain!

These days I have embraced the Uncertain.  Some days, I find myself needing to control every move so that I feel Certain.  Then I have an "intellectual conversation" from a good friend & I am reminded that Uncertainty is beautiful!!!  What fun would life be if we knew everything that was going to happen, when it happened & where it was going to happen. BORING!!! GOD is the only one who can be entertained by that because HE is up there watching what our reaction is going to be & how we are going to handle situations.  HE has designed us to walk by Faith not by sight!! Of course it is scary to think of "what could happen" or "what if" but we can't live in fear all of our lives.  There is nothing to fear but fear itself!!!

I know that I am not the only person in the world that has felt or feels the issues I address, which is why I continue to do what I do.  GOD uses me to help others, I believe.  Sometimes, I don't have all the right answers when helping but I do have the right Faith. It is because GOD has filled my cup & lets it overflow with LOVE.  The Uncertain should be a reminder of the adventures that life has for us.  Like I've said before, Our life is our own movie.  We don't want GOD to watch a story full of fear & no Acton or self-destruction.  Our movie should be full of action & Uncertainty! GOOD action might I add :) We have the ability to change circumstances, HE has the ability to allow it.  Praise GOD we can live in a crazy world but be Certain that HE will do what HE says HE will do & enjoy the Uncertainty that only HE knows.  Life is beautiful, don't make a mess out of it.

A Prayer that helps when the fear of Uncertainty may arise:

" GOD grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can & wisdom to know the difference.."
"Living one day at a time;Enjoying one moment at a time;Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy inthis life & supremely happy with HIM..Forever in the next." AMEN 

A special Thank You to my friend M.M. Yesterday was a day I needed to just say some things & He put those things into perspective. Thank YOU Jesus for putting great people in my path.

GOD is good today tomorrow & foreverr......

EnCoUrAgEmEnT!

Don't you just love Wednesday's?! I DO :) Not only is it my day to blog but it's the day that lets me know Friday is only 2 days away!!! Usually my blogs are different from what we discuss in my Tuesday groups , yet I touch on the subject every now & again. Today, I'm going to share the whole message, simply because it felt that good when it was delivered, Why not do it again?!!

1 Corinthians 3:1 Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as wordly-merely infants in Christ. (NIV)

1&2 Corinthians was wrote by the Apostle Paul.  During this time the city of Corinth was a "HOT MESS"! It was home to 1,000 prostitutes, had many places to get drunked up, & just all around out of control.  Much like our world today.  However, Paul writes a letter to address some of the issues.  Problems he addresses in a firm yet Christ like manner: Divisions in the church, ehortation to brotherly love, immorality, questions about food, marriage, worship,the resurrection, uncharacteristic beliefs & practices within the church. Sounds like everyday life...To Me, Paul wrote this/these letter(s) with intention to encourage joy & the peaceful way to live. Which brings me to the message: ENCOURAGEMENT!

" More people fail for the lack of Encouragement than any other reason." When GOD convicts our heart, it is NOT to condemn but to encourage.  He is showing & teaching us discernment from conviction.  This is encouragement for us to realize what is NOT right. So when we start stopping the wrong before it happens & realize what's right before the wrong occurs, HIS conviction (encouragement) is working!! " He lifts us out of our problems through conviction." -Joyce Meyer  For most, conviction comes at church, meetings, conventions, or anything pertaining to GOD, but have you ever felt it in an everyday experience? Example: You do something or act a certain way that you know isn't right & after the fact, your conviction starts weighing on you.  All the time?? Yea, me to! Then you begin to have "self-talk." ( Don't act like you have never talked to yourself, EVERYONE does it) What are you saying to you though? More often than not, we are our worst critic. We have become experts at depressing ourselves! The minute we give into those negative thoughts, we give the devil free reign!

Today it's time to put your dancing shoes on!!! Stomp to the same beat & when your rhythm is off...Stop & listen to the music. Take control of those negative thoughts & insert "POWER THOUGHTS"! Encourage yourself :) or if you not sure how to, let GOD.  When you feel that conviction, it is GOD saying, " That ain't right baby but you know what is, So turn it around & make me proud."! He wants everything good for us. There is not one of us that He wants to see cast down!!! Conviction is His purpose for Encouragement.  He understands that we are only children IN Him but we are all children OF Him.  It's ok that we are still on formula & haven't yet begin to eat solid foods. He understands that we have not learned to talk right or to stop acting out of flesh. He understands that we are NOT Perfect & never will be.

I know that I can not save the world or make everyone like me but.." I'm here to do what GOD wants me to do & I hope you like me but if you don't, that's your problem..NOT mine."-Joyce Meyer Who doesn't need or want Encouragement? So many need it but don't get it, & it's time we encourage OURSELVES so that whenever others need it, We are experts for them. Let GOD convict & encourage you.  He is our FRIEND & will NEVER fail us.  My wish is that this whole world would be full of Encouragement instead of Hate but I am only 1. Imagine what would happen if we all had the same wish & participated :) One day....Let GOD encourage you & see what happens :) Remember just dance to the music :) He never said we wouldn't miss a beat but He promises to keep the rhythm for us!

GOD is good today, tomorrow & foreverr......

Fight of Faith!

First Wednesday of the New Year! So, I am a little unprepared for this blog, but I'm starting this year off optimistic :) Normally I write a brief summary & feed off that, but the summary I have today is in my head. Since my last blog, alot of fighting within myself has been going on.  However, it was nothing that my FAITH couldn't take care of :)


Before I re-dedicated my life to Christ, I was always up for a good fight.  Physical or mental, didn't matter. Win or Loose, I fed off the drama that it came with.  Praise God, He released me from that ignorance. "I'm not where I need to be but Thank God I ain't where I used to be"-J.M.
These days, I find myself in a completely different battle or battles.  Now there is not an option of failure. I have a reliable team mate that Guarantees me a Victory each & every time...GOD! You see, it wasn't up until recently that I realized, I will NEVER loose a battle ever again.  GOD has promised me endless happiness :) HE Guarantees that HE will do what HE says HE will do & I will have what HE says I will HAVE. One stipulation....Follow HIM! Do I have to be perfect? NO! That is impossible, there is none like HIM & HE is the only Perfection that we know. HE wants EFFORT!!Ephesians 4:3 "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." HE wants us to know who we are in HIM. Be willing to stand up for HIM & proclaim HIS salvation & what it brings.  Scary?? Kinda, yea..." You can feel fear but that doesn't mean you have to be afraid." -J.M. There is nothing to fear but fear itself!  We got to be willing to fight The Fight of Faith! Believe in what we do not see & quit putting faith in the flesh.  Yes i know that it is easier said than done but if you have not retained anything from what you have read, Retain this..." We DO NOT have to ever loose another battle again!! GOD is for us, who can come against us?? Nothing & No one! Simple as that....


Today challenge yourself to a fight.  No, not with someone but with whatever is a hindrance or stumbling block in your life.  Instead of doing whatever it is you normally do, Fight with Faith.  Meaning, trust that GOD is going to handle anything & everything.  Really trust & believe :) HE says HE will never leave us nor forsake us.  Call HIM out & let HIM know of the Promises HE has made.  Quote HIS words & tell HIM, " GOD, you said it!!" There is nothing more that a father loves than to know HIS children pay attention to what HE is teaching & saying.  Tell HIM, " I got my gloves on DAD"! " I'm ready to fight for what I do not see & believe in the outcome that I know is right!" HE is always ready....ARE YOU??


For whatever is born of God is victorious over the world; and this is the victory that conquers the world, even our faith.1 John 5: 4
GOD is good today, tomorrow, & foreverr!!!!!!

New Year~New Foundation

Hot Coco & Teddy Grahams, breakfast of champs! Wednesday's here & January 1st marks the New Year. 2011! Tis the season for Resolutions & goals :)  

Last night at Godly Gossip Group, we talked about "behind the scenes".  The movie we star in daily, which is called "Life". GOD is the producer, executive producer, screenwriter, etc...Before our movie started though, He had a Blueprint,the dialogue & events that would take place throughout the entire process.

When GOD created us, He gave us everything we needed to live in this world.  It was & is up to us to create the inward temple to go along with the outward temple that He specifically constructed. We have the blueprint (The Bible), now we need to create a foundation that can be built upon. Just as a movie needs a script,which is the foundation of the end product, we need the blueprint. His word is the foundation of our life. The Bible is the blueprint! If we do not construct a sturdy foundation, under pressure it is liable to crack or even be destroyed. Can we rebuild? Yes! God is a forgiving God & will help us when we surrender to Him.  Sometimes our temple has to be torn down & rebuilt more times than we want, to teach us the value & meaning of a "Rock Hard Foundation."

Our Mind, Body, & Soul are the core of this foundation. If HE does not dwell in these 3 things, then our house is like the 2 houses of the pigs that the wolf blew down. Don't make your house out of straw & sticks. Take your time & construct an indestructible work of art that the devil couldn't phase with his biggest army!! "If put to the test, would your foundation crumble?"- Pastor Vera

My New Years Resolution: Create a Foundation that God would be proud of & make my life a movie that He never gets tired of watching...

Spread the Gospel not Gossip!
GOD is good today, tomorrow, & Foreverr!

Empty LOVE tank??

3 more days til Christmas! Whoohoo, how exciting?! Jesus, family, & food...What else could anyone ask for? Hmmm, Love maybe? Not just a relationship love or family but simply Love in general...

Some days I just want to throw in the towel & say, " I quit, there you go!" Ding Ding Ding, LIFE wins!! My attitude slowly starts regressing & I think, " Oh welll, at least I tried."  Fact is, we are human & these things happen occasionally. This is when we have to take time to get outside of ourselves & bond with GOD. His Love is never ending!

" Do what God wants you to do.  Find support groups, church, a place to fill your empty Love tank." -Paula White  When I was in N/A meetings, the thing I remember most was hearing those around me say, " Thanks for sharing, Keep coming back..It works if you work it." They would say this after someone shared a story, struggles, or something good in their week.  I didn't understand why they did this until after I committed to taking the steps & sharing myself.  It feels good to let out the bad & have someone or people listen & say "Thanks for sharing." It makes space for Love to come in & fill what has been let out. We all had issues, some more severe than others but none the less we were all rowing in the same boat. I shared that because now that my life has taken a turn for the better, it's still a struggle with just life itself.  We all want to feel loved or praised when we do good things. Recognized for our efforts for  trying to change or being different. Our flesh yearns for approval of others but our heart needs to know that GOD is proud of us for trying & LOVES us regardless of our flaws.

Once you initiate change or positive impact, the negative doesn't go away but comes on stronger.  People will mock you or question who you are trying to be because of who you were before.  " Judge not, that you not be judged." Mark 7:1  Our flesh is vulnerable & when people do these things to us, it is easy to retaliate.  However, we need not let ANYONE or ANYTHING hinder our relationship with GOD & the Love we are building for ourselves.  This doesn't mean that we are any better nor should we put those down because of  what they are doing but lift them up to GOD.  In GOD'S eyes we are equal.  He doesn't Love anyone of us more than the other.

" I am Free to be me , you are Free to be you, & we are Free to be us!" We must allow forgiveness to those who bring us down. Remember to think about," How am I doing?" Let's fill up our love tank today with first loving ourselves & then loving GOD.  We can't love anyone else until we love ourselves! " from the whole body, joined & knit together by what every joint supplies, accordingly to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love." Ephesians 4:16

Trust in GOD & have faith that He will never let your Love tanks empty light come on.....

GOD is good today, tomorrow, & foreverr......